Jokes: IN HONOR OF GEORGE CARLIN
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Name:
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Lakeshore
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Subject:
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IN HONOR OF GEORGE CARLIN
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Date:
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6/25/2008 2:05:17 AM
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We lost George this past weekend. One of the greats... he was 71.
Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
One nice thing about egotists: they don’t talk about other people.
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adult ery?
How is it possible to have a civil war?
If God dropped acid, would he see people?
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
If you ate pasta and antipasti, would you still be hungry?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word “Lisp” to have a “S” in it?
Why are hemorrhoids called “hemorrhoids” instead of “a@@teroids”?
Why is it called tourist season if we can’t shoot at them?
Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
Where are we going? And what’s with this hand basket?
If the “black box” flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole d#mn airplane made out of that sh$t?
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
I’m not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain.
I’m in shape. Round is a shape.
I’m desperately trying to figure out why Kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
I’ve always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
Ever notice when you blow in a dog’s face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
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