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Name:
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Bob
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Subject:
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I am SO glad
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Date:
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3/29/2006 3:28:52 PM
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I want to apologize for the behavior of Lakefun in his previous threatening post. Lakefun is probably one of the bitter big fast boat crowd and this legislation threatens to take away his "I'm trying to compensate for something" ocean bound toy. I imagine Lakefun to be a building contractor, probably from Montgomery. He likely dropped out of highschool after knocking up his highschool sweetheart and got married at age 19. Divorced at age 21 this Budwesier swilling, earnhardt worshipping, hick started driving a cement truck and pouring foundations. By age 30 he was promoted to foreman of a six truck crew and soon thereafter bought the small company. During the last 6 to 7 years Lakefun's business began to boom as the most unprecedented real estate boom in history transformed his meager income into a mid six figure annual fortune.
By now as a remarried for the third time failure as a husband and father he is officially a memeber of the "nouvea riche". This means newly rich if you are reading this. Unfortunately as we all know newly found wealth, while certainly an Americna dream, does nothing to enhance ones class and this is the case of our man Lakefun. Driven by the need to spend his new wealth lakefun pours 200k into a nice 28ft boat with lots of flashy colors and capable of speeds of over 80mph. After having his boat brought in from Miami, Lakefun spends every weekend terrorizing the rest of us on the lake. You know Lakefun, he's the guy with the pot belly, grey chest hair, gold chain around the neck, rebel flag bandanna wearing hick you see every weekend end the summer. He roars past Sinclair's with the throttle buried reaking havoc on the boats parked there on his way to Chucks. There he meets several other boats that look similar all driven by people who look similar. They unload, order pitchers of Budweiser, chew there Pizza's with their mouths open and curse loudly regardless of the number of children around. They then "pop the hatch" of their engines and stand around admiring the enormous size of these horsepower hogs. They drink more beer, chain smoke (flicking each butt into the lake each time) fuel up, buy more beer and smokes, and head out to the "Rock" blairing inappropriate music as they "throtte down" as soon as the tip of their enormous boats pass the no wake zone.
They carry out the same schedule all weekend and then head back to their homes in neighborhoods that (while they can afford) they just don't fit in well. You know the type, they have the huge home in the right neigborhood but the driveway is full of dirt bikes, four wheelers, and a bass boat that is parked just behind the RV despite multiple pleas from their HOA (thats Home owners association. You agreed to be a member at closing when the realtor handed you the covenants that you promptly tossed in the back of the truck to blow out on I-65).
Understandably, Lakefun is not happy about this legislation. In fact he's downright pi$$ed and really would love to "put a bullet into someones head". I am truly going to miss Lakefuns boat that this law will ban. Regrettably, this bill will not ban Lakefun or his ilk. They will resurface in brand new boats that are just barely legal and they will continue to terrorize the rest of us and our families. I say lets sponsor legislation to ban Lakefun and the other "straight from the trailer" trash that he calls friends. Anybody with me?
Now I just hope he doesn't try to shoot me...
Bob
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