Chattahoochee River Whitewater Topics: Take me to your leader-- me.

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	Name:	DwightSchrute -
	Subject:	Take me to your leader-- me.
	Date:	3/30/2006 1:37:06 AM

It is obvious that you people need a leader. It is thanks to my mentor and best friend Michael Scott that I am the success story that I am, and so it is only right that I do my best to pass along some of my gifts to those of you I deem worthy, through the power of mentoring. I see I already have one disciple in Jawjagal; soon, the rest of you will be eagerly lining up alongside her. Or behind her, if we go single file.

My second-in-command is my cousin Mose, but he can fulfill his duties only until it’s time to harvest the beets; at that time, I will need a new assistant. I will choose the person I deem worthy, not just the one who does the best job of sucking up to me, so don’t think calling me “Sir” or “Your Highness” is going to guarantee you anything. Genuflecting is not a bad idea, however. But DO NOT call me “Mentor.” That is what young Billy Batson called the old man who drove the RV on the old TV show Shazam! Shazam! Is what Billy Batson would say to become Captain Marvel, and Captain Marvel should know that “Mentor” is not a title, like “Sir.” Or “Captain.” Which is why Superman could kick Captain Marvel’s you-know-what.

When I am through molding you, you will be an army, my army. You will be like lions, but not just like lions, because I am the lion. You will be like smaller, lesser lions; panthers or cheetahs, perhaps. Except for the women; they will be more like giraffes and meerkats. We will be the strongest army in the animal kingdom, the kingdom of mankind, and the galaxy; the only thing more powerful than us will be the Battlestar Galactica realm, because nothing beats Battlestar Galactica. No, not even Star Trek.

Get some sleep, my friends, because the lesson will begin soon. Or… has the teaching already begun...?