Name:   lakngulf - Subject:   Feathers Never Lie Date:   12/29/2010 11:05:45 AM

The chickens looked at me a little funny when it was 20 degrees and I was plucking feathers for the 2011 predictions.  But, hey,  they just have to sacrifice so we can have the

Eclectic Chicken Auction New Year Predictions for 2011

January:  It appears to some that Auburn has won the National Championship.   An old Lake Martin landmark is renamed “Toomer’s Rock” after being rolled by jubilant AU fans.  Cecil Newton tries to sell BigFoot’s lakehouse before BF returns from Glendale.

February  Catherine resurfaces and implicates Russell Lands Inc about a secret tunnel and bodies buried in Egyptian pyramid style on goat island.   Seems that is the reason behind the goat killings, for fear they will uncover the entrance, and “old maps show that the island used to not be that tall” .   The ABI, Mr. Hodja, Martini Man and Lotowner develop plans for the archeological expedition.  Alabama Power has trouble finding specific guidelines in their documents, but ultimately conclude that the group will have to purchase a permit before they can begin.

March:  The sudden rise of the lake gave “rise” to some strange looking floating docks.  Various methods and guidelines are suggested for “securing your dock”.   In the spirit of DADT there are also some tips on securing a loose “sail boat”.

April  In an effort to curb the decreased postings on the LM forum the Webmaster signs an agreement with Facebook, Twitter, and the Alexander City Outlook.  Any posts to these sites by LM forum members are automatically categorized, corrected and placed in the proper section in the Lakes Online Forums.  And with his expertise in Facebook and all things electronic and advertising, Ulysses E. McGill is named “Webmaster in waiting”

May:  With the tremendous success, growth and popularity of the new marine shop, coffee shop, small engine repair, and general party place on Hwy 49 (all accomplished without an added “use fee”),  plans are begun to redistrict and rename parts of Tallapoosa and  Lee counties to Lake Cathouse.  Could this be the “Lake City” that we have been warned about? 

June   Alabama power puts on an demonstration of the 1/3 slough rule.  It looks very similar to the “World Hunger Initiatives” from several years back where a large group gather in a huge room for a meal.  1/3 of the folks are served filet mignon and the others are served a half cup of rice.

July  The LM Off-Topic forum members purchase rights to 2011 Aquapalooza and turn it into a political rally, with sights on the 2012 elections.  In “Fox-style” fairness many potential candidates are invited including Huckabee, Romney, Hilary, Obama, Palin, Boxer, Pelosi, Reid, Gingrich.  The turnout of candidates is amazing, the enthusiasm of the spectators is minimal until Palin and Pelosi exchange heated words on stage, fall off the platform and mud wrestle in the “yellow” water.

August  After interviewing candidates “all summer long”, DirtDiva finally gets her “pool boy” but not what she was expecting.  It is more like a “miscue” as Maverick shows up with stick in hand, ready for a game of snooker.  DD admits “he won the competition because he said he was good with the rack.”