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Name:
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LonghornBoater
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Subject:
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Southern Wisdom/Humor/Realisms
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Date:
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6/22/2012 10:12:14 AM
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Georgia
The owner
of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided
to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.
He called
her into his office and said, "Y'all graduated from the
University of Georgia and i need some help. if i wuz to
give yew $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"
The
secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everthang but my earrings."
Louisiana
A senior
citizen in Louisiana was overheard saying ... "When the end of the world
comes, i hope to be in Louisiana ."
When asked
why, he replied, "i'd rather be in Louisiana
'cause everythang happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the
rest of the world."
Mississippi
The young
man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy,
"Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!"
Bubba
replied, "Did y'all see who it was?"
The young
man answered, "i couldn't tell, but i got the license number."
North
Carolina
A man in
North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and
proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it.
Then he got back in the car to wait.
A passerby
studied the scene as he drove by, and was so curious he turned around and went
back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.
The man
replied, "i got a flat tahr."
The
passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"
The man
responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and
flares in the back. i never did understand it neither."
Tennessee
A TennesseeState trooper
pulled over a pickup on i-65. The trooper asked, "Got any iD?"
The driver
replied, "Bout whut?"
Texas
The
Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the
ditch. The Sheriff asked, "Why are you dumping garbage in the
ditch? Don't you see that sign right over your head."
"Yep,"
he replied. "That's why i'm dumpin' it here, 'cause it says:
'Fine For Dumping Garbage.' "
***
Y'all kin say whut y'all want
'about the South, but y'all never heard o' nobody retirin' an'movin'
North.
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