(Lake Martin Specific)
111,183 messages
Updated 6/9/2024 1:00:09 PM
Lakes Online Forum
83,676 messages
Updated 6/14/2024 7:34:26 PM
Lakes Online Forum
5,197 messages
Updated 6/10/2024 5:39:11 AM
(Lake Martin Specific)
4,171 messages
Updated 5/29/2024 10:51:34 PM
Lakes Online Forum
4,170 messages
Updated 6/10/2024 6:29:37 PM
Lakes Online Forum
4,261 messages
Updated 5/28/2024 6:31:10 AM
Lakes Online Forum
2,977 messages
Updated 6/10/2024 6:30:23 PM
(Lake Martin Specific)
169 messages
Updated 5/31/2023 1:39:35 PM
Lakes Online Forum
98 messages
Updated 4/15/2024 1:00:58 AM
|
|
|
| Name: |
SloTime
- 
|
|
| Subject: |
How to Drive in Atlanta
|
|
Date:
|
11/26/2007 2:42:52 PM
|
I know there are some of you who live in the Metro Atlanta area, so you can ignore this message. This is for those of you who may succumb to the urge to try to drive in Atlanta. Please read and heed.
HOW TO DRIVE IN ATLANTA -- GOOD LUCK !
1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is Etlanna.
2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
is from noon to 7:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
morning.
3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 85 mph. Anything
less is considered 'Wussy'.
4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Atlanta has its own
version of traffic rules. For example, cars or trucks with the loudest
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest
tires go second. However, in Roswell & Alpharetta, SUV-driving, cell
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
cussed out, and possibly shot.
6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can get you shot.
7. Road construction is permanent and continuous in all of Atlanta and
surrounding counties. Detour barrels are moved around for your
entertainment pleasure during the middle of the night to make the
next day's driving a bit more exciting.
8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
barrels, cones, celebs, rubberneckers, shredded tires, cell phoners,
deer and other road kill, and the buzzards feeding on any of these
items.
9. MapQuest does not work here, none of the roads are where they say
they are or go where they say they do and all the freeway off and on
ramps are moved each night.
10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally
activated. '
11. If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 55-65 mph
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
12. Do not try to estimate travel time, just leave Monday afternoon
for Tuesday appointments, by noon Thursday for Friday and right after church
on Sunday for anything on Monday morning.
13. Above all else, enjoy your driving experience, because if you
actually get where you are going on time, everybody else will be
late.
|
| Name: |
glen7297
-
|
|
| Subject: |
How to Drive in Atlanta
|
|
Date:
|
11/26/2007 9:41:12 PM
|
pretty funny.
How 'bout...
"On the east side of I-285, those "driverless" cars you see....don't worry...the driver is chillin on the cell phone. Visibility optional."
|
| Name: |
waterbaby
-
|
|
| Subject: |
How to Drive in Atlanta
|
|
Date:
|
11/27/2007 8:18:33 AM
|
We are from Atlanta and every word is true! LTBA (Lucky to be alive.)
|
| Name: |
DirtDiva
-
|
|
| Subject: |
How to Drive in Atlanta
|
|
Date:
|
11/27/2007 10:01:44 AM
|
So TRUE!!! We live south of Atlanta and drive in to work. Here are a few additions:
#8 It is important to implement avoidance maneuvers for people napping on mattresses that have fallen off of trucks... Oh, and the ladders, too.
#9 Even if Mapquest gives you directions, they are all screwed up as it can't tell the difference in the 100+ streets named Peachtree something...
If you are traversing I-285, understand that you will arrive at your destination either High or Flat or both. High from inhaling the fumes of the 18 wheelers; Flat from being unsucessful in playing Dodge-em with the 18 wheelers; you wanna be in the High condition if you end up in the Flat condition.
|
| Name: |
Tahoe
-
|
|
| Subject: |
How to Drive in Atlanta
|
|
Date:
|
11/28/2007 7:22:45 PM
|
I lived in Georgia for 9 years and worked in Atlanta. 32 miles one way to work took 1.5 - 2 hours (one way!!!). If there was any interruption such as a slight rain or fender bender, forget about it.... You know it is bad when you get home from work and the kids run and hide... Best thing I ever did was get the *%^&^% out of that mess!!!! Word to the wise, Drive Right, Pass Left. That means if you are not passing a vehicle get out of the way or you will be run over....
|
|
|
New Post
Search
Jokes Forum
Reply
»
Alabama Lakes
»
Lake Martin
Login
|
Home
