Name:	MAJ USA RET -	Reply
Subject:	Global warming and boogers on the half shell
Date:	10/17/2022 2:34:26 PM (updated 10/17/2022 2:34:51 PM)

Twenty Thousand years ago, there was no Chesapeake Bay.  There was only the Susquehanna River, running in a gorge, in a southeasterly direction.  It passed through a gigantic 35 million year old crater called the “Exmore Crater”.  

 During this time period, there was a land bridge between what are now Siberia and Alaska.  Humans came across the land bridge and began such heinous environmental travesties such as killing and eating animals and lighting fires.  They even burned down forests for farm land and to chase animals out where they could be gruesomely and inefficiently killed with spears, and slings… and by falling to their bone crunching, twitching deaths over cliffs (later to be captured in mesmerizing art by the conquering, invading imperialists from the east who had to use boats because there was no convenient land bridge.)

 But I get ahead of myself.

 After a few thousand years the Sibero-Alaskan undocumented immigrants showed up on the Atlantic Coast of the vast continent (tens of miles east of present day Virginia Beach).  Now, these unrestrained but noble undocumented immigrants continued to indiscriminately play with fire and butcher the animals.   I can understand that they took up fishing, but one wonders which one of them swallowed the first oyster from a half shell without a single precious drop of Tabasco, which at that time was also a place next to a crater and populated by undocumented immigrants who were experimenting with corn and tomatoes and syphilis, which they would later trade, for small pox, with the boat people from the east.

 Again I am distracted.

 So… the Susquehanna people, whom somebody dubbed the Mattaponi, Upper-Mattaponi, Nansemond, Pamonkey, Rappahannock, Powhattan and the Chickahominy (not a menu item) continued to burn fires – especially camp fires – and cook animals (except oysters - had no breading).  Their smoke spiraled into the sky and Mother Nature (NOT to be confused with the Great White Father), seeing it, took umbrage at such malfeasant usage of lightning and friction.  She converted what had heretofore been a simple, ubiquitous gas - carbon monoxide – into a “greenhouse gas”. 

 Now, greenhouses had not been invented yet, so this misappropriation of the theory went unnoticed by the ignorant undocumented Sibero-Alaskan immigrants, who had by then saturated and dominated the native pop… oops! bad logic.

 Anyway, Mother Nature decided to punish the perps by using the smoke from their fires to warm the atmosphere – via the “greenhouse effect” - to melt the great ice sheet up north.  Soon the sea began to rise, almost a meter per 100 years (1303.57 moons)… well, there weren’t any meters in those years, so hip high per 1303.57 moons.

 So the great and vast eastern horizon moved closer to the immigrants who now had become Native Americans (naturalized).  Soon, the Susquehanna River filled up and the part where you could swim across moved up to a place which would later be named after one of the eastern boat people named Bill Penn. 

 "Exmore" hadn’t been invented yet, so the natives had to have a name for the huge and growing wide spot in their river.  God only knows why they called it the Chesapeake.  Perhaps it means “big pond with lots of boogers on the half shell”.  AND, we do not know at what point the still savage natives began eating the big spider that lives in the water, moves sideways, and eats ANYTHING.  But anyone who eats oysters raw can’t be too picky about their diet.

 I have again digressed; this is not a gastronomic diatribe.

 Well, NOW the global warming caused by all of that indiscriminate fire burning had caused much concern to the natives who were worried about property value along the river.  Since walking and swimming were no longer viable, the distraught natives invented boats. 

 Actually, the discovery was serendipitous.  The natives were having a barbecue and needed a long fire so they built one in a log.  After the party, someone noticed that the barbeque pit could be put in the water and swimming could be affected without getting wet.  For a significant period of time barbecue pit paddlers held on to the skill of swimming until they got the hang of making and using paddles.

Damn! I’m having trouble staying on topic!

By this time, everything east of what would later be called "Suffolk" by the eastern boat people, was infested by that harbinger of global warming, the mosquito - a term already in use by their Tabascan brothers (uh… and seesters).  Mosquitoes are like deer flies… only smaller and higher pitched… and unlike deer flies, prefer nocturnal feeding.

 The cliffs of Suffolk began caving into the great river.  There, the natives discovered layers of coarse sand and gravel containing millions of teeth – lots of teeth.  So, they knew the jig was up.  Mother Nature had, once before punished a great race by flooding their environment. The teeth were sharp and pointy which led to the supposition that the earlier great race did not eat oysters.  But, what really concerned the natives – was that they could find no evidence of fire!

 The earlier great race must have eaten ALL of their food raw.

Never mind… ask the inventor of the internet.

Name:	phil -	Reply
Subject:	Global warming and boogers on the half shell
Date:	10/18/2022 9:17:35 AM (updated 10/18/2022 9:21:56 AM)

couple of questions - 

1.   I agree who in their right mind ( or starving half to death ) grabbed up something in a shell that resembles snot / lumpy slime and just slurped it down.  Personally I prefer mine baked on the half shell with parm/butter/lemon.  Not to mention figuring out the right "seasons" we have now to make sure they are not full of bacteria or other harmful stuff.  But the seasons are probably just another symptom of the infamous "global warming" that GFY is causing via his boats and truck upgrades.

2.   What are your thoughts if as I suspect we are in a period of decreasing temps - the White House which has been wrong on basically everything since Biden took over - that they plan to study ways to reflect light and reduce the temp even further - which would be bad for plants which is also bad for us via the base of the food chain.  

https://www.cnbc.com/2022/10/13/what-is-solar-geoengineering-sunlight-reflection-risks-and-benefits.html#:~:text=The%20White%20House%20is%20coordinating,solar%20geoengineering%20or%20sunlight%20reflection.

The White House is coordinating a five-year research plan to study ways of modifying the amount of sunlight that reaches the earth to temper the effects of global warming, a process sometimes called solar geoengineering or sunlight reflection.

The research plan will assess climate interventions, including spraying aerosols into the stratosphere to reflect sunlight back into space, and should include goals for research, what’s necessary to analyze the atmosphere, and what impact these kinds of climate interventions may have on Earth, according to the White House’s Office of Science and Technology Policy. Congress directed the research plan be produced in its spending plan for 2022, which President Joe Biden signed in March.

Name:	MartiniMan -	Reply
Subject:	Global warming and boogers on the half shell
Date:	10/18/2022 9:26:08 AM

Enjoyed this as usual.  There's a reason they don't teach geology in high school. Easier to indoctrinate young minds filled with mush when they don't understand the history of the earth.  I personally like to use the example of ice being a mile thick over Ohio as recently as 11,000 years ago.  Somehow, magically all that ice melted without our help.  Also had some fun on my recent trip to Glacier National Park by pointing out that the receding glaciers in the park were formed during the little ice age (1600's to late 1800s) and were not even present before then.  But why ruin a good story showing pictures of the glaciers from 1900 and 2018?  Of course they are getting smaller....they have been long before all the evil CO2 being emitted.

Name:	MartiniMan -	Reply
Subject:	Combination of madness and hubris
Date:	10/18/2022 9:28:34 AM

If we enter a period of fewer sunspots (Maunder Minimum) we will want all the sun we can get.  And we are long overdue for one.  But the idea that man can prevent the sun from warming the earth is hubris at its finest.

Name:	lakngulf -	Reply
Subject:	Global warming and boogers on the half shell
Date:	10/18/2022 9:55:41 AM

When I visited Niagra Falls (WOW what a site) and saw their little video about how the Falls were formed.  I commented to my friends "Geez, if Al Gore had been around back in the time of all this Ice Melting and Moving then none of this would have happened"!

How small we are compared to this Universe

Name:	MAJ USA RET -	Reply
Subject:	Oysters and Ice Ages
Date:	10/18/2022 10:04:41 AM (updated 10/18/2022 10:10:39 AM)

PHIL -

“1.   I agree who in their right mind ( or starving half to death ) grabbed up something in a shell that resembles snot / lumpy slime and just slurped it down. Personally I prefer mine baked on the half shell with parm/butter/lemon. Not to mention figuring out the right "seasons" we have now to make sure they are not full of bacteria or other harmful stuff. But the seasons are probably just another symptom of the infamous "global warming" that GFY is causing via his boats and truck upgrades.”

Growing up the on the Chesapeake Bay and Atlantic Coast (son-of-a-son-of-a-sailor), I learned to eat oysters… yes, only in months containing an “R.” I relish them fresh, cool, and on the half shell… smothered in Tabasco sauce. I avoid oysters from WARM brackish waters (e.g. Mobile Bay). – note – my father, a Navy sea-captain/line officer did not eat oysters. I learned from his father, an engine room machinist.

The bacteria have always been there. Locals and local sea food workers don’t seem to be bothered by it. It is usually some vacationing lubber who eats a bad oyster at the wrong time of the year.   I wait ‘til I’m at the shore to eat boogers-on-the-half-shell.

“2.   What are your thoughts if as I suspect we are in a period of decreasing temps - the White House which has been wrong on basically everything since Biden took over - that they plan to study ways to reflect light and reduce the temp even further - which would be bad for plants which is also bad for us via the base of the food chain.”

We are dust in the wind. In what little time we are allocated, we all think we have, in some fashion, experienced “climate change.” Climate change progresses over centuries and millennia. We are only casually embedded in the slow moving event (e.g. Milankovic’s numbers are expressed in thousands of years). Biden, Gore, Kerry, et al will be long dead by the time their hubris catches up to our successors.

Plants and animals (including Homo sapiens) adapt and evolve. Failure to do so leads to extinction. Despite all of the political clap-trap and intellectual snobbery, we humans WILL either adapt or go extinct. Rich and poor, smart and dumb, proud and humble… we are inexorably dependent upon each other. To ignore the string which connects us all is as dangerous as basing climate change on the weather over the last few decades.

It’s going to be cool for the next two days. But wait until next Tuesday to predict the next Ice Age.